Have you ever danced with a WOLF in a Pale Moonlight

An old, Mafia Don is dying, and he calls his grandson to his bedside.

"Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business.....you gonna havea beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. W… Continue

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat.
He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle s… Continue

What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?
50 pounds and a black dress.

How come Italian's don't like Jehovah witnesses?
They don't like any witnesses

What do you call a pimple on an Italian?
A grease fitting.

Why don't Italians have freckles?
They all slide off.

How do you brainwash an Italian?
Give him an enema.

What language do the Vatican Police speak?
Pig Latin!

What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180?
Sicily.

Why did the Italian staple his nuts… Continue

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in T! exas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Office r! That's terri… Continue

CHINESE PROVERBS
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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok .
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~… Continue