Why Does It Seem Like BBW Admirers Are Only Online?

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Why Does It Seem Like BBW Admirers Are Only Online?

Posted by Dana on February 25, 2008 at 2:32am in Love & Relationships

Ok to be honest I am 19 and I have been heavy all of my life, so I am shy. However, I have so many guys say how hot I look online and how they wish they were closer to me. Why can't I find guys off line? Are guys just really shy about approaching women in real life, but really open online? Or is it there are no BBW lovers that are my age or a little older in Orlando? I have been approached by some guys, but they are like 30. Now I know that is not old, but it is way out of my age range. I mean I dress well, great sense of humor, goofy, good cook, affectionate, but it's like I have all these good qualities and no guys see that because of my weight. I am in college, which is supposed to be the best time of my life, and I am feeling lonely. I have great friends and family, but there is that other part of my life that I feel I am missing (male counterpart). What is everyone's feelings on this?

Tags: lonely, online, orlando, shy

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Permalink Reply by felix on March 21, 2008 at 10:37am: yeah totally agree with all the replies. most guys are shy about it, i am inall. sum guys hide their affection for bbw's to save their reputation. but its also the media thats putting pressure on men. for example, like theres more and more news about the increase of obese ppl and so on. the media is basically giving bbw's a bad image. but then theres the other subject of models being too thin as well. so men are now put under more pressure from the media because of this. but i also have sum mates who dont care what sort of woman they get on a night out, as long as they get laid they're alright. i say, just dont give up ladies, there are guys out there that honestly do have passion for women of your sort, but they wont admit it in public. patience ladies. the best things come to those who wait ;); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Curtis on March 21, 2008 at 12:13pm: I know how you feel I am looking for a nice bbw but there are none around my age in the dc area it sucks.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lori on March 22, 2008 at 5:13am: Wow incredible. I agree with so many responses and I can see both sides of this, or maybe the many sides is better.
You have the age problem, where younger guys get all kinds of guff from their buddies if they show atraction to BBW, or they are called chubby chaser. For a young guy that is just coming into his awareness for what he likes and doesn't it can be hard. So by the time they finally realize that they have to live their lives for themselves and happiness truely only comes to them when they open their minds up and stop caring so dang much what other people are going to think then they are older and you, my dear, are left wondering why they don't exist in your age bracket.
Then you do have the media influence. The commercials selling beer or gum by having some slender long haired woman being attracted to the guys because they drank or chew certain products. Well every man in the world wants to be attractive to someone and then this is what they sell to our young men. It can be difficult for them to figure it all out.
Then you also have your guys that just don't know how to show how they feel. They may be afraid of being rejected or not really sure how to approach a woman that may have their own issues. Men really have their own things going on they just hide it better than we do. Yet I have found that a man that has matured and come into his own doesn't let a little thing like nerves stop him from going after what he wants.
Kudos to you for speaking up, this is an excellent topic for discussion. When it comes down to it we have to be understanding and forgiving to this matter, but it doesn't make me lack the desire to protest .. : ); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mark on March 30, 2008 at 12:10pm: Of course it could be that the Internet has become self aware, decided it loves cute, embraceably fluffy gals and created 100s of personas online to satisfy its romantic urges for gals with curves. Half the guys on here could just be hot-and-bothered versions of Agent Smith from the Matrix *cue eerie twilight zone music*; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by alice on March 30, 2008 at 2:12pm: Ok So only one final comment to all of this is ... guys tell your friends "Barbie's are made of plastic and don't have a Heart"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ouichanel on March 31, 2008 at 9:57am: I think as you get older and gain more confidence the guys will come around. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 22...when I started coming out of my shell and was more aggressive with flirting with and talking to men. Honestly, any of the guys I have dated have never been with a BBW before, they fell for me because who I am as a person and it's much better that way.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ana on March 31, 2008 at 10:20am: Honestly, any of the guys I have dated have never been with a BBW before, they fell for me because who I am as a person and it's much better that way.

That is very true. If a guy dates you just because he likes big girls, he's just as bad as guys who will only date blond skinny girls and sometimes we fail to realize that because it's more convenient for us.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by DrGirlfriend on March 31, 2008 at 11:53am: There is a huge difference between guys who are turned on buy fat vs. ones who tolerate fat. I wish I had realized that before I got married!

I have only dated two true admirers and the sex is so much more enjoyable without all the insecurity. And the open public affection... a guy actually being proud of you on his arm and wanting you to dress sexy instead of covering up. Only bad thing is that the boost in self-confidence always makes me lose weight and then they lose interest. My ex claimed to dig my curves, but things changed, I gained more weight, and he left me for a thin girl.

*sigh*; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ana on March 31, 2008 at 4:42pm: Well, I agree there's a difference between guys who are turned on by fat vs. guys who tolerate fat, but I think that by clinging to this idea you sort of miss the point. It's like a guy who's turned on by women in glasses - yes, it turns him on and attracts him and could be responsible for the start of something, but no one would build a relationshiop based only on the fact that the girl wears glasses. Yes, it's a plus and you find it sexy, but there's gotta be something more than that. Same goes for fat, red hair, one leg, a tail... We tend to make a bigger issue out a fat because... um... it's bigger... but in the end it's all the same. A guy interested in you is interested in you, even if you weight 20, 200 or 2000 pounds. And if he isn't, he's just not that into you , not your body. Every person on the planet has a hard time trying to find someone who will love them for who they are, not just fat people.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by DrGirlfriend on March 31, 2008 at 5:47pm: I agree, but when it comes to marriage, to making a marriage work in today's world, attraction is VERY key to longevity. I think that there needs to be a balance between love on the inside and outside, because the outside fades eventually regardless.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dana on March 31, 2008 at 7:41pm: well thank you everyone for ur replies. I t has really helped me relax about why I don't have bf, and I have had friends tell me in real life that now is the time for me to prepare myself to be the best women I can be, with or without a man.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jess on April 1, 2008 at 11:36am: Dana, that is so true. Just keep being yourself and you WILL meet the person you are meant to be with... rushing it won't work, though... take it from someone who tried that and is now divorced.

Take care.; ▶ Reply to This