Poor BBW Admirers

The BBW & Admirers Social Network

Posted by WeirdnWonderful on March 24, 2008 at 4:03pm in Love & Relationships

I've registered on a few BBW sites and have come to realise that this is actually the best one (no, I'm not trying to suck up here). The people on here seem to be real and I find it terrific that they actually express themselves freely. Annnnnyyyyway, I've been reading through some posts and profiles and have come to one question.......are BBW admirers under more pressure than the actual women whom they desire??? Yeah, so we're overweight but we've come to realise that and, probably after many failed diets to conform to society, we've decided to shove those ideas where the sun don't shine and just make the best of what we have (which is more than others could ever give). But why is it that bbw admirers have such a problem with standing up to their views and opinions? Is it pressure from society, family, friends? Is it because they too have low self esteem and don't want to be humoured? What are they afraid of? Is it easier to come out of the closest as a homosexual than a bbw admirer?

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Permalink Reply by WeirdnWonderful on March 29, 2008 at 6:04pm: Heh heh heh Pinky. That was a great comment!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jess on March 29, 2008 at 6:09pm: "Men who truly love the bbw body are perhaps more secure, less in need of a substitute cock..." That is profound. I have never thought of it that way... great observation!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Samantha on March 29, 2008 at 7:01pm: I love you. :)

P.S. My body doesn't look like a penis, either!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ana on March 30, 2008 at 8:44am: As a brazilian, it's very interesting (shocking?) to see the response in topics like this. I'm from São Paulo, 3rd largest city in the world, where people don't give a shit about anything because they are pretty busy taking care of their own lives. So yeah, here you can bring home a girl with two heads and a tail and people will hardly find the curiosity to shrug.

Also, I think people here are not as vain. Of course the media and everyone else tells you you should be skinny and tall and pretty and perfect, but if you're not, it's not the end of the world and you're not rejected. Not that being bigger here is the easiest thing in the world, we still have to face lots of problems, but in the end it definitely isn't as hard as you all make it sound and no one here would be seen as a failure for bringing a big girl home. I guess it's a cultural thing and the need americans have to be seen as winners and not losers or something like that...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by pinky tuscadero on March 30, 2008 at 9:38am: I agree Ana, I think that it is cultural. I like your idea about Americans needing to be perceived as "winners." That's something I had never considered.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lubomira on March 30, 2008 at 10:41am: It is funny how very different men and women are in reality. A while back, I was seeing someone that was the total polar opposite of me; a chubby, redhead, heavy metal, tattooed, pot smoking guy. For whatever reason, we hit it off well. Well when time came to introduce my friends, my best friend pulled me aside and said “Lu, are you serious? You could do so much better.” I laughed and told her, yeah he was rough around the edges, but he was sweet and friendly, and most importantly, I like him. That satisfied her. The truth was, the guy she’s dating, I would NEVER date and she wouldn’t date the guys I would. Why? Because we’re two individual people satisfied by different things, yet we’re friends and we respect and care for each other… So, now I would buy the whole pressured from friend thing, but I find it a poor excuse.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Joe on March 31, 2008 at 2:26am: My mother never could understand why it was that I was always attracted to larger women an not the skinny and uptight women. To be honest i dont know why myself. When I was a younger lad I allways thought that lerger women were that cats meow and I still do today...I asure you im not a closet gay lol.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by David on April 1, 2008 at 4:34pm: To even out the overwhelming imbalance from male/female responses, here's just a "quick" add:

I do believe it's different for a guy than a girl, but Im talking about the more popular guys. Most guys will be glad to get just about anything. Here in Sweden, sadly, we are fixated about two things(physical traits, that is): Age and size. If you're fat and old, (observe how negative that sounds, even if it's just a trait. Tells you something about our society) then you're basically useless here.

If you can get quite some girls and hang out with guys, who are mostly immature and think of everything in terms of "prestige", well it isn't easy. You speak of "weak minds", trust me, I walk my own path. Yet, the most beautiful girls say they like guys who are independent but about 90 % fall for the same guys by night that they usually complain by day on.

Also, fatness is really, really uncommon here. There's just ONE slightly chubby girl in my entire class. Same with my parallel-class, she's just so remotely chubby, maybe just 10 pounds over her ideal weight? Most classes have no chubbies. There's basically just... 3-4 real fat girls for over 500 girls in my school. Can you imagine the pressure they must have? I can't, so when you get out, and when all the "fancy words of understanding" converts into pure and cruel "hunting" out in the bars, then only guys that actually do seem to care are the loser types that end up with no girls, and the girls themselves dont give a fuck about maturity or not. That's the harsh truth. Guys dont feel a need to "grow up" because they see what results they get anyway by night, they just learn to ignore the whine because a lot of them feels that it's not genuine since it's a whole different story by night.

I do admit that I have fallen for the pressure more than once, but I still have stood up against it more often than I've fallen for it. Im not perfect, but DO understand that for some of us, by the people we're surrounded by, it's a COMPLETLY different situation than with your mature friends. You might say "switch friends", that's hard to do after 10 years togheter in a relatively small town where everyone knows everyone, but Im going to move in a year or two to a bigger town anyway. However, I dont think what I speak of is so "original" for Sweden, I think it happens just about anywhere.

You can fight the world on some days, but not everyday.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ra on April 1, 2008 at 10:16pm: I saw the subject and I read the thread and I'm glad that someone has brought this topic to up for discussion...I'm 27 and I have to say since I was in Middle School I was a BBW Admirer, even though at the time I never would have known what that meant. Looking back now I realize a shapely figure was something that I all-ways wanted in a woman. I have to say that every woman that I have ever date and longed after was a BBW and all through High School and even now that I'm an adult I have been made fun of by friends for my choices or rather taste in woman. So I would agree that Admires do have it bad to a certain extent, but the ridicule is well worth it anyway you slice it. I have friends that love BBW's just as I do and some that don't. Hell I have one friend that total tries to deny that he doesn't like BBW's at all but every girl he's been with in the last 5 years has been one...So I would say that a trifecta of things FRIENDS FAMILY and SOCIETY/MEDIA.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Fudgy the Werebadger on April 14, 2008 at 10:16pm: wow, I actually had an experience like that. The "guys" at the office were around the proverbial cooler discussing how they would like to be with the recent supermodel du jour (like if they were in her presence they would have a chance) and I wasn't apparently showing the body language or facial expression they were hoping for....and of course one guy in the pack is a blaring homophobe and he asks me straight out if I'm gay. I say "no, it's just that the woman you are discussing isn't my type"....of course this pushes them to ask what my type is, and I tell them I prefer plus size women.....they look at me with their body language and facial expression that says I would have been BETTER off if I WAS gay and came out of the closet.....(In fact I think the closet gay guy in our office took that very moment to say "well, I'M gay" because the tension was relieved and they all said "heh heh, good for you Dan, good for you"....ok that coming out of the closet thing fpr Dan was made up, but the rest wasn't...the IRONIC part is that at least TWO of the guys (one of them being the one who thought I was gay) were MARRIED to women who were at least size 24s, so their "disgust" at my preference was theoretically hypocritical. at least I learned at an early age that if you openly dis what you like....um, well my first HS crush pretty much went to hell because I "pandered to the crowd" in saying I disliked her because she was fat.....at least I learned on the first shot not to metaphorically "@#@t where i eat"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by organizedmayhem on April 24, 2008 at 11:33pm: I like the way you think!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Allen on April 15, 2008 at 1:19pm: I can't speak for all admirers, but I know for myself I live by this doctrine, I only have to satisfy two entities in life, those who give me a paycheck and those I have sex with. Thats it. Everyone else can blow it out their ass. If some out there choose to let the world dictate what appeals to them that is their issue, but I know what I like, and I'm not ashamed to make it known. So no I don't have a bumper sticker that says I heart BBW's, but going on date with a fullfigured women for me is not making a statement, its what i like. Its mental when it comes to confidence, and a confident man doesn't really care what others think if he knows what is in his heart is real.; ▶ Reply to This